Catching Up

It is strange for me to look back over the few posts I have made on this blog over the few months i actually kept it up, because since my last post in May my life has once again turned upside down. I thought that since I am home today with extreme nausea and morning sickness (yuck) that I would update you all on what has happened since my due date week...

After the week of my due date i hit a major wall in my journey through grief, as i mentioned in that post i came off of my anti-depressant and boy did it make a difference. I could barely get though the day without a breakdown everything from work to church to eating dinner made me sad so in order to cope and not have to go back on medication I  cut myself off from all things sad. I no longer listened to the radio (for like 2 months), I didn't bother watching T.V., and i stopped blogging all in the name of sanity. After about a month or so my hormones finally got a hold of themselves and started acting semi-normal but by this time i was swamped with changes to my life again. Right before the end of the school year in Alexander City I was offered a job closer to home at Winterboro High School. At first I was not sure that I wanted to even consider the move but after my doctor released us to start trying for another baby Colt thought that me being closer to Birmingham was a good idea, so i took the job. My friends at work were very sad to see me go and an amazing group of 16 little teenage girls were devastated because Momma Lightsey, the dance coach, would not be there anymore... this was the hardest part of leaving....my babies.  I started off summer working as usual but this time at Winterboro tutoring for the grad exam. I went on vacation with my mom, nanny, sister and brother for a week to the beach, which was great fun and i needed it badly. When i got back i was to go to dance camp with my babies for the last time but before i could leave for Auburn i got a big surprise..... I got a positive pregnancy test!! In order not to pump people up for no reason we waited a week or so to even tell our parents, I wanted to wait longer but morning sickness set in early. We were thrilled, nervous, excited, sad, depressed, and feeling guilty all at the same time. I knew that getting pregnant again would be an emotional experience but no one could have prepared me for this! This is where i will pick up the pieces of my blog for my followers, I will use this to once again share my storm, a different one, but in many ways the same... the storm of starting over, expecting again and remembering more!